S01E195: Take SuccuGen!
TONIGHT’S TAROT: THE DRAGON
Freaks of Hazard:
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THE CRYPT IS A ZOO!
Cryptozoology is the study of and fascination with creatures of suspicious or inconclu
sive validity. They can be beast, phantom, humanoid, extraterrestrial, etc. Cryptids can be found in urban legends, mythology, and folklore all over the world. And they are sick as hell.
I have detailed a few for you here and will be awarding them a rating on the Freaky Guy Scale™, 1 being “Certifiably Not Freaky” and 5 being “A Superfreak.”
Here’s a smattering of creatures for your enjoyment, you freaks:
The Philippines
Manananggal
Popular in the Visayan regions of the Philippines, these creatures are part of a general group of creatures called Aswang, meaning ghouls, witches, werewolves, vampires, etc. The scary, violent blood suckers and baby killers, basically.
The word manananggal comes from the Tagalog word tanggal, which means "to remove" or "to separate", …. In this case, "one who separates itself". The name also originates from an expression used for a severed torso.
The manananggal is described as scary, often hideous, usually depicted as female, and always capable of severing its upper torso with its intestines trailing out and sprouting huge bat-like wings to fly into the night in search of its victims.
The manananggal is said to favor preying on sleeping, pregnant women, using an elongated proboscis-like tongue to suck out fetuses, or the blood of someone who is sleeping. It also haunts newlyweds or couples in love and sometimes newborn children. Due to being left at the altar, grooms-to-be are one of its main targets.
The severed lower torso is left standing, and is the more vulnerable of the two halves. Sprinkling salt, smearing crushed garlic, lighting it on fire, or smearing ash on top of the standing torso is fatal to the creature. The upper torso then would not be able to rejoin itself and would perish by sunrise.
Hilarious tidbit: In the erotic novel Melania: Devourer of Men (2018) by J.D. Boehninger, Melania Trump is a secret manananggal who struggles to keep her identity hidden after her husband becomes president.
I give it a 5/5 “Superfreak” on the Freaky Guy Scale for the SEPARATED FLYING TORSO WTF
Sigbin
Wikipedia article on the Sigbin
Also from the same region of the Philippines and also in the Aswang club, the Sigbin is said to come out at night to suck the blood of victims from their shadows.
It is said to walk backwards with its head lowered between its hind legs, and to have the ability to become invisible (have a stealth ability) to other creatures, especially humans. It resembles a hornless goat, but has very large ears which it can clap like a pair of hands and a long, flexible tail that can be used as a whip. The Sigbin is said to emit a nauseating odor.
It is believed to issue forth from its lair during Holy Week (which is right now!), looking for children that it will kill for their hearts, which it fashions into amulets
This guy gets a 4/5 “Pretty Darn Freaky” on the FGS because I don’t like things that walk backwards, but the clapping ears are hilarious.
Japan
Kappa
Big Think article including the Kappa
Humanoid reptiles named kappa are said to inhabit Japan’s ponds and rivers. They are short and scaly, have beaks for mouths, and have a bowl on top of their heads that contains water. If a kappa’s bowl is emptied on dry land somehow, they’re said to lose their magical powers. Although they’re generally malevolent, kappa are supposed to be very polite. If a passer-by bows to them, they’ll have to bow back, losing the water in their bowls. If that passer-by refills the bowl, they’ll have made a friend and ally for life.
Kappa can drown children, drink their victim’s blood, or sexually assault women by looking up their kimonos, but they also have three obsessions. The first are cucumbers, which they apparently can’t resist. The second is sumo wrestling. And the third is obtaining shirikodama, storied jewels that contain the soul, located—where else?—in people’s anuses. They are said to pull the intestines out through the anus in search of said jewel.
The pokemon Lombre is essentially a kappa, and a cucumber roll is called kappamaki
I give it a 2/5 “A Little Freak(y)” on the Freaky Guy Scale due to the pulling organs out of your butthole, but also being a cucumber-munchin’ sonovabitch.
Aka Manto:
Wikipedia page on the Aka Manto
Aka Manto is described as a male spirit, ghost, or yōkai who haunts your bathroom late at night…often female bathrooms specifically. The spirit is said to wear a flowing red cloak and a mask that hides his face, and is sometimes described as being handsome and charming beneath his mask.
According to legend, if a person is sitting on a toilet in a public or school bathroom, Aka Manto may appear, and will ask them if they want red paper or blue paper. Depending on the version of the story, the spirit may ask them to choose between a red or blue cloak or cape. If they choose the "red" option, they will be lacerated in such a manner that their dead body will be drenched in their own blood. If the individual chooses the "blue" option, the consequences range from that person being strangled to all of the person's blood being drained from their body. In some versions of the story, the choices result in a red tongue rising up out of the toilet to lick the student from below, or a hand fondling them from below.
If an individual attempts to outsmart Aka Manto by asking for a different color of paper, cloak, or cape, it has been said that they will be dragged to the underworld as a result. In some versions, choosing a "yellow" paper, cloak or cape will result in the occupant's head being forced into the toilet, sometimes until they drown. Ignoring the spirit, or replying that one does not want or prefer either kind of paper, is said to make the spirit go away. In some accounts, rejecting both options and running away from Aka Manto will also result in the individual's survival.
Author and folklorist Matthew Meyer has stated that the Aka Manto has been recorded as a schoolyard rumor dating back as early as the 1930s.
I give this dude a 3/5 “Def a Freak” on the Scale for interrupting people in the bathroom and demonic swirlies.
Art by Chilla
United States - central California
The Fresno Nightcrawler:
Imagine a wishbone-shaped creature, about 5 feet tall, with a round head at the top and two long legs. It walks in a wide, sweeping gait while appearing to wear white flowy pants. Cute, right?
This 2018 article from the Fresno Bee details the brief history of what’s known as the Fresno Nightcrawlers. In 2007, a man known simply as “Jose” heard his dogs barking at night, though when he looked in his front yard he saw nothing. This happened a few more times during the night, waking him and his wife several times. After his wife left for work in the morning, he played back the recording of his CCTV footage from his security cameras. What he saw disturbed him so much that he brought his VHS tape to the local chapter of Univision.
This footage is on youtube on Victor Camacho’s channel, a paranormal investigator who was called to assess the footage after it was brought to the station. The quality is questionable because it’s a handheld camera recording a VHS tape on a screen. The original taped copy has since been lost. Camacho remains open to the idea that this is a genuine cryptid sighting, leaving interpretation up to the viewers themselves.
Jose, who has since died, was genuinely afraid after the incident and he became agoraphobic for a while. He was interviewed on camera once but did not want his face revealed.
There was another reported sighting in Yosemite National Park, not far from Fresno. Supposedly there was one in Carmel as well, a few hours to the north and even one as far as Poland (?!).
Fresnans have embraced the idea that they may have an unusual cryptid walking creepily among them. There’s fan art, enamel pins, pillows, etc. should you do a quick Etsy search.
I give these a 2/5 “A Little Freak(y)” on the Freaky Guy Scale for the unnerving walking.
Bonus comic for boo-bury:
Cryptid Club #13 by Sarah Anderson
SUCKS TO SUCC
Let’s see what proclaimed experts have to say about the Succubus…
Cyber Witch - Signs a Succubus or Incubus Spirit is Around You
/succgen/ 528 on /x/ - Long running thread!!
Tales from /succgen/
>The Truth About Sucubi - Warnings For All Lonely >Incel Summoners
>I make this post as an act of mercy to try to warn those who are driven, by their loneliness and social isolation, down a dark path towards summoning sucubi.
>The 1st thing to know is that the sucubi are 100% real extradimensional beings who feed off of your (mainly sexual) energy. I experienced them in my early-to-mid 20s because I was young, virile and in an emotionally vulnerable place.
>2nd thing is that all sucubi are the same as incubi. >There are no "female" versions of this demon. They are genderless. So all of you rightwing types who populate this board, who always bitch about "the trannies" or whatever? Just know you're giving up your sexual energy to an agender demontrap, no matter how passably female it looks.
>Your succubus will NEVER be a woman.
>3rd thing is that the creatures are vastly more intelligent and psychically apt than any human being can be. For myself, I have moderate psychic talent, but I'm completely outmatched by these beings. Not only do they know your conscious + unconscious thoughts, but they can send enough psychic energy your way to fry your brain.
>It's important for you to understand that YOU CANNOT BEAT THEM IN A MATCH OF WITS. THEY WILL OUT-CHESS YOU EVERYTIME.
>4th is that they are total sociopathic monsters who will ruin your life for their own purposes because they want your lifeforce for themselves. For example, they'll keep you physically sick so you can't go out and have a life.
>If a girl likes you, guess what? Succubus is gonna go whisper in her ear "He will beat you ,stay away" and whatnot. The succubus will ensure you stay a lonely incel forever.
>The truth is many incels have succubus attached to them unknowingly. The demon influences things to keep them as incels, so no one else gets their energy.
>To them, you're cattle. Farmers don't give the cow's milk away for free.
OPENER
How to Reply to Negative Comments
INTERMISSION
Altar of my Balls - Ledbetter (Malachi)
Self Under Siege - Prosperous Soul
CLOSER
(Discovered through Just Jazz with Steve Hart)
TAKE THESE, IT’S DANGEROUS TO GO ALONE!
